Monthly Archives: May 2014

Lay Down Your Sword

It’s 8:30 a.m. in Hiroshima, Japan. I’m lying on a very hard bed in my very sleek hotel room, recovering from last night’s show, jet lag, and whatever disease I am fighting off from Hacking, Coughing Man in seat 49A on last Friday’s flight to Seoul, Korea.

I couldn’t help but recall my dream right before I woke up this morning. It took me completely by surprise because it involved my ex-husband.

I had almost forgotten he exists.

No, really. His memory is like a blip on a radar. I’m not quite sure if that is a victory or not. It just is what it is.

In my dream, X came to me, apologetically, and offered to finally pay the money he still owes me from our divorce settlement. I decided a while ago it was not worth pursuing, just like it’s not worth my time and energy trying to take those scammy mover thief guys in Florida to court over the money they stole from me.

Extremely difficult decisions.

Interestingly enough, however, my subconscious still holds onto a figure; an amount that will bring closure.

The truth is, when you’ve been hurt or have experienced loss, no amount of money can fix it. Ultimately, there is no satisfaction. You are still left with loss.

I suppose I’m sharing this to encourage you, friends, especially those of you who are in the thick of trials. To those of you who are fighting, tooth and nail for justice. For those who are in the hellfire of divorce.

Choose your battles. Know when it’s time to lay down your sword. The trial you are facing right now will pass. Preserve your heart. Save your energy. Life is unfair and people can be dishonest and cruel, but it does not change the fact you are still dearly loved. Keep moving forward. Keep trusting. God sees you. He will never forsake you.