Monthly Archives: November 2016

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was harder than I thought it would be.

After ten years on the road I am no stranger to lonely hotel rooms during the holidays. I’m thankful for my good friends — my family, really — out here.

We had a lovely dinner and I went to bed early but was wide awake at 3:30 am, lyrics screaming in my head. I didn’t stop writing until 6:00 am. Who knows if they’re any good? That’s not for me to judge right now. I’m not throwing anything away.

Last heartache, I wrote a book. This heartbreak, I am writing lyrics.

Maybe I’m just meant to suffer. But I will not be silenced. And I will never give up hope.

I Am Worthy

I am worthy of love. I am worthy of belonging.

I am worthy of someone shouting from the rooftops and even stupid fucking social media that he is my partner.

I am worthy of respect.

I am worthy of someone not running from me in fear.

I am worthy of commitment and fidelity.

I am worthy of being held when I am crying in the dark, even if it’s because I spilled all the Q-tips on the floor, or I am having period cramps, or my uncle is dying.

I am worthy of someone loving me for ME – for exactly who I am, this very exact moment. Even if I’m not 115 lbs or have conquered an extreme sport; even if I have grey chin hairs and a fleshy tummy.

I am worthy of love because I am already loved: wholly, completely.

I am worthy of being in relationship because I am a really good partner. I am a good friend.

I am a good girlfriend. I have the desire and potential to be a good wife.
And I will hold out for someone who wants the same things I do.
Who wants me for me.

And that is that.