The Christian Girl's Guide to Divorce

I left the Conrads parking lot that evening, feeling a sense of peace and closure.

My husband filed a response to my petition for divorce the next day.  He also signed and notarized the Quitclaim Deed so that I would become the sole owner of our house.  I asked him if he could bring the document over.  I was playing “Harmless Housesitter” for my neighbors, Lisa and Laura.  They had taken the steps to adopt our dog, Wimbley, and I wondered if my husband wanted to come over and see him, and, frankly, say goodbye.

He responded, and told me that he was leaving that night.  It would be too hard for him to see our dog and our house.  He said he’d be back in LA soon, but he didn’t know when.  He also said that he’d like to see me when he got back.  He anticipated emailing me, and if I ever wanted to correspond with him, all I had to do was just tell him.

Feeling a surge of compassion, I wrote him back.

I’m broken up, too.  Hurting a lot.  It’s been a long, hard, hard road and I still wish that you would choose me.  But I understand that you can’t/won’t, and it’s ok.  Too much time has passed, and too much damage has been done.  God has something good in store for both of us.  I have been praying for, and will continue to, pray for you.

Take care of yourself.  Don’t waste your heart on some silly “hot” girl.  Wait for the real thing, because you are an incredible person.  God wants to restore you; God wants to redeem this messy situation, and He will bless you.  He will.  Be careful and make good choices.  And you will see how God takes care of you and heals you.  He will heal you.

I’m not trying to preach at you, I just felt that those words should be shared.  And, at the risk of going overboard, I’m attaching that song that has spoken to me so much over these past few weeks.

I hope your parents and your family know how much I love them.  I understand we are all hurting right now, and I also understand that blood is thicker than water, but I just wanted to put it out there.  I love you all.

Safe travels – may God be with you.

He thanked me and told me he loved me.  It made me sad.  Yet, I breathed a sigh of relief.  The paperwork had been completed, and I could now move forward in my life.  My husband, although lost, had actually made a responsible and wise decision.  I had hoped it would be the first of many.

A few hours later, that sense of peace and closure I felt was immediately ripped from me.  To my surprise, I received an email from my father-in-law.

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I read the email and freaked out.  I immediately got on the phone and called my father-in-law.  I was upset, angry, frustrated and hurt.  These people had meddled in my marriage and my life one too many times. I wasn’t going to take it anymore.  The conversation was fruitless – I could not reason with either of them.  I told my father-in-law that he was “just a flea”.  He could not hurt me, no matter how hard he tried.  I actually understood that his cruel words were out of his own pain, confusion and disappointment in himself and his son.

Before I hung up, I told my in-laws that I loved them both, and I loved their son.  There wasn’t anything they could do, or say, to take that from me.

My eyes – although blinded by tears of hurt and confusion – were being opened.  I might be losing everything in my divorce, but I was gaining more.

I was gaining freedom.